I have attended school for about twenty-five years now. I had the average K-12 grade schedule, with no hiccups along the way. I graduated on time from Tecumseh High School back home in southeast Michigan. I then took five-and-a-half years to finish my four-year bachelor’s degree at Welch College (beginning with a semester at a community college back home). During the last two years of my undergraduate education, I worked full-time in the college’s enrollment office as an Enrollment Counselor. While that job made tuition cheaper, it also pushed back my graduation date. Then came my master’s degree. I got married and, virtually every night during our first year-and-a-half of marriage, I sat at the dining room table to finish my M.A. from Grace College. I finished it on time, graduating in 2014.
I took several years off when I started teaching at Welch College, but then—in hopes to start a doctoral degree at some point—I needed to do some “leveling work.” For those who don’t know, leveling work refers to courses you take in order to reach the qualifications necessary to apply for and (hopefully) be enrolled in a specific degree program. So, just after having our first son, I began taking more courses. I would help my wife with the boys (had another one along the way) and then sit at the dining room table (again) as I worked through Hebrew vocabulary cards.
Just last year, after taking a couple more philosophy courses over the summer, I was finally ready and qualified to begin work in a PhD program, which I’ve since started through Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. Also, as I post this, we’ve welcomed our third son into the world.
I offer this brief autobiography simply to point out the complexities of balancing family life and education. For most of my adult like, I’ve had a major family step alongside my next step in education. Whether it was a serious full-time job with my bachelor’s, getting married while working on my master’s, having two boys while doing leveling work, or having our third son at the beginning of this PhD program, finding a good balance along the way has been difficult.
In light of these types of life circumstances, I suggest four observations to consider for those considering entering into this balance or even attempting it:
1. Higher education isn’t for everyone.
Higher education is not for everybody—especially the farther along you go. People will continually say that a college degree, nowadays, is the new high school diploma.[1] That statement certainly speaks to a truth. However, a college education, no matter the degree, is not for everyone. Christians have had a long history of appreciating vocation, which refers to one’s calling to different areas of work and, more broadly, life.[2] Many have referred to that ethic as “the protestant work ethic”: being willing to commit to excellence in whatever area to which we’re called. This calling is true for painters and plumbers, as well as engineers and electricians.
For that reason, you must ask yourself whether higher education is something you really want to do. Do you demonstrate a high level of intellectual curiosity? Do you enjoy (or at least don’t hate) reading and writing? Are you excited to focus on the life of the mind? If you answer in the affirmative, higher education may be for you. Talk with a trusted mentor to explore that avenue further.
2. Have your family’s support.
For a host of reasons, one non-negotiable when taking on more education is to have the full support of your family. For instance, depending on your financial situation, you could possibly take on more debt. At the very least, more education means that you’re going to have another priority to focus on. No matter what, you’ll want to make sure that you have your spouse’s full support before beginning a given program.
My wife and I decided together every time I took on a new program or set of courses. Even before marriage, we discussed, knowing that I would start my master’s right away, what taking courses during those first couple of years of marriage might look like. Also, while my wife doesn’t have a desire to continue her education at this time, I sought to be intentional to see whether she would like to pursue a master’s degree. Remember, marriage (and education) is not a one-sided endeavor. It requires give and take.
Few things are more important than ensuring that your family is supportive of your educational endeavors. When late nights come, or deadlines are approaching, your family’s support will make all the difference in the long run.
3. Know that education is not your highest priority.
With this in mind, realize that if you have a family your educational aspirations are not your highest priority. Your family takes priority over education. This priority is precisely why, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says that it’s better for one to be single. Without a family, one doesn’t have nearly as many anxieties (v. 32), and one’s interests are not nearly as divided (v. 34). Yet many—myself included—have decided not only to marry but also to start a family.
This reality means that, if you ever need to choose between education and family, you should always choose your family. I heard a friend put this principle this way: For some, not getting an A in a course will be a sin; for others, getting an A in a course will be a sin. His point is that you’re being disobedient to God if you’re focusing on education to the detriment of your family.
Of course, you can prioritize your responsibilities appropriately. As for me, I try to keep a routine each day. I generally work from about 7:30am until about 4 or 5pm. While I may work a little later to get work done, I put my work away completely when I come home to spend time with my family. I don’t worry about reading or writing while I’m with my family. Of course, I may sometimes start back in on my studies after they go to bed. But, when they’re present, I want to be present.
4. Demonstrate excellence in all things.
Finally, if you decide to pursue higher education, whether a bachelor’s, master’s, or even doctoral degree, know that you are glorifying the Lord and worshipping Him in the level of commitment and concentration you show toward that end. Of course, our works do not save us; our good deeds do not earn us any additional favor in eternity. Yet we can demonstrate our love and obedience to God as we commit ourselves to good works. We do all these things to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31).
If all of our works should demonstrate loving obedience, we have no excuse for laziness. If we have the time and ability, we must give God our best in whatever opportunity He has laid before us. That doesn’t mean that all of us will be 4.0 students. But it does mean that a teacher or professor will know that we are committed to giving and getting all that we can out of a particular program.
Conclusion
I certainly do not have the balance of education and family life fully figured out. I continue to make adjustments to my schedule. I want to continue to ensure that my priorities are in the right order. I desire that I’ll pursue excellence in all things, whether my work, education, or family time.
Still, let us be reminded that, even in the midst of opportunities and work, we serve a God who offers us rest. Rest is not an excuse for laziness but instead demonstrates to God that we are not capable of doing everything on our own.[3] We give educational and vocational endeavors all that we can, realizing that God gives us grace, even in our weakness. Ultimately, God’s goodness enables us bear any burden, whether big or small.
[1]Robert Farrington, “A College Degree Is The New High School Diploma,” Forbes, September 29, 2014; https://www.forbes.com/sites/robertfarrington/2014/09/29/a-college-degree-is-the-new-high-school-diploma/#76ad7d034b44; accessed April 8,, 2020; Internet.
[2]Matthew Steven Bracey, “Reclaiming a Holistic Approach to Christian Calling and Vocation,” Helwys Society Forum; November 8, 2010, http://www.helwyssocietyforum.com/reclaiming-a-holistic-approach-to-christian-calling-and-vocation/; accessed April 8, 2020; Internet.
[3]Christopher Talbot, “Sleep, To The Glory of God,” Helwys Society Forum, December 9, 2013; http://www.helwyssocietyforum.com/sleep-to-the-glory-of-god/; accessed April 8, 2020; Internet.
Recent Comments