“It’s hard to be a woman.”
Such a simple statement is probably as controversial as it is ambiguous. Does it mean that it is hard to be a woman because men marginalize and oppress women? Does it mean that it is hard to be a woman because of the constant possibility of sexual assault? Does it mean that, in order to have a fulfilling life, women have to be successful career women, perfect mothers, and ideal wives all at the same time?
Being a woman in modern America is a challenging task indeed. The questions listed above are, in many ways, the wrong questions to ask, but they illustrate why being a woman in our increasingly post-Judeo-Christian world is so difficult. It is hard to be a woman because we don’t even know what it actually means to be a woman. We’ve tried to create new definitions through several waves of feminism, each eroding traditional definitions of womanhood more and more.
This endless search for new knowledge has, paradoxically, left us with little knowledge of true womanhood. Unfortunately, this problem is not confined to secular discussions of gender and sexuality, though it is certainly most pronounced in these. Even in our churches, confusion about men’s and women’s roles is increasing. Some congregations and even entire denominations have not taken the time to consider the implications of God’s creating human beings as male and female after His image and according to His likeness. Others tend toward one of two extremes. On one hand, some adopt the egalitarian position that there are virtually no differences between men and women, that gender roles are, at best, mere social constructs and, at worst, oppressive. On the other hand, some overemphasize male headship to the point that women are, consciously or not, seen as slightly inferior.
Scripture offers us a much more compelling vision of manhood and womanhood than either of these tendencies. In recent years, faithful expositors of God’s Word have fleshed out and defended a strong doctrine of biblical complementarianism. I would like to refer to this position as “small-‘f’” or “lower-case” feminism.[1] By this term, I mean the Judeo-Christian position on gender roles, much older than “capital-‘F’” or “uppercase” Feminism (which I will discuss below).[2] Small-“f” feminism asserts that women are not inferior to men, that women ought to be educated, that women have valuable contributions to make to society as women, but that women assume different roles than men do. It is the view espoused by Jane Austen and Anne Bradstreet, women who gloried in God’s design for femininity and also made significant contributions to the English canon of great literature.[3]
However, lest I be mistaken for a closet egalitarian, I will refrain from using this term in this essay. Instead, for my purposes here, I will use the term “biblical complementarianism” to describe the correct Christian understanding of women in society. Below are two basic concepts that must be grasped in order to adopt Scripture’s vision for women (and men).
Biblical complementarianism recognizes that the roles of women and men are not interchangeable.
Modern Feminism has much to answer for, not the least of which is our society’s considerable confusion about the differences between men and women. What began as the incorrect belief that women can do (or even ought to do) anything that men can do has developed into the belief that women are inherently better than men. Increasingly, there is a societal push, with talk of so-called “toxic masculinity,” for example, to make men more like women.
While the egalitarian position within the church might not be as extreme as the modern Feminist view, it certainly would agree with the idea that women and men have no distinct roles, pointing to Paul’s words in Galatians 3:28 (“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus,” ESV) to defend the position. This is most clearly seen in the egalitarian views on the family and on women in ministry. Essentially, egalitarians contend that a man or a woman can be the leader of the home or that the husband and wife can share leadership equally. In the church, women can serve in any and all leadership positions, even that of pastor.
Perhaps one of the most significant problems with the egalitarian position, particularly in relation to the home, is that it encourages the worst tendencies in men and women. Women usurp leadership and greedily take charge while men abdicate their God-given responsibility to lead and fall into apathy.
Biblical complementarianism, on the other hand, asserts that men and women each fill unique roles in God’s plan. Those who hold this view point to Paul’s teaching about marriage in Ephesians about wives and husbands to delineate clearly the roles of men and women: Men are to be the servant-leaders of the home, while women are to submit to the husband’s leadership. This seemingly antiquated position brings us to a major misconception about biblical complementarianism. It is essential that we address this significant misunderstanding.
Biblical complementarianism does not contend that men are better than women.
Because the complementarian position takes seriously the idea of male headship, opponents assert that the position devalues women and elevates men. Indeed, the current cultural mood assumes that the inequality of role necessarily entails inequality of essence. In reality, though, this is simply not the case. In any office, for example, if everyone had the exact same working role, no actual work could be accomplished. Different roles are required, and each role is absolutely needed.
So too are the roles that God gives to men and to women. Both men and women are equal in worth and in dignity. Both are made in the image of God. Both will be held accountable for their carrying out of the roles God has assigned to them, no matter their stations in life.
In the end, both men and women are called to submit to God’s design. Yes, men are called to leadership, but this is a high calling and serious responsibility, not the right to take advantage of women. On the contrary, men are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and laid His life down for her. This is certainly not a bullish attitude through which a man would view his wife as an inferior! A husband who loves his wife in the way that Paul prescribes will trust her and value her opinion, not demand total obeisance to his totalitarian rule.
The complementarian position does indeed assert that there are things that men can do that women can’t do. On the other hand, it also contends that there are things that women can do that men can’t do! Both men and women are essential to the functioning of human society, and human society flourishes only if men and women assume the roles they are given. Mary Kassian and Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, founders of the True Woman Movement, often remind their readers that men and women reflect God’s glory in unique ways; together, they fully reflect God’s image. They are like puzzle pieces, each unique but each necessary to complete the puzzle. Certainly such a vision is compelling and beautiful, not oppressive or outdated.[4]
This vision is lived out beyond the marriage relationship, too. In Titus 2, Paul gives extensive instruction for older women to teach younger women how to be godly women and for older men to teach younger men how to be godly men. The character traits in this instruction overlap, but there are gender-specific traits that Paul emphasizes. These apply to all people within the body of Christ, whether or not they are married. As we practice this kind of discipleship within the body of Christ, we reflect together the glory of God.
Conclusion (for now)
I realize that I am not treading any new ground here, but I do hope that this introductory explanation of complementarian position for Free Will Baptists is helpful in our current cultural moment. So much more can be said and must be said about these issues. For the most part, Free Will Baptists have more naturally gravitated toward Biblical gender roles. However, in this age that is increasingly hostile toward true womanhood and biblical complementarianism, Free Will Baptists need to be prepared to define more clearly our position and to correct any unbiblical practices we have adopted. Our young women face a culture that sends them many conflicting and confusing messages about womanhood. If they have never had the beauty of God’s plan explained to them in a clear and compelling way, they are susceptible to adopt unbiblical views that promise power and pleasure.
Furthermore, the watching world needs to see women (and men, of
course) who live out the beauty of God’s design. We can’t very well contend for
Biblical positions on the sanctity of marriage or the very meaning of being
born male or female if we live as if gender roles don’t matter. What’s worse,
we risk presenting only a partial view of God’s character if we only reflect a
few of His traits. Finally, as with all of God’s plans, following His design
for manhood and womanhood is ultimately for our own good. His plan brings the
most joy and fulfillment. Let us develop our doctrine, teach it well, and live
it out.
[1]I have stolen this term from Dr. Darrell Holley who used it in his literature courses at Welch College. When I spoke to him about this essay, he said he likely stole the term from Francis Schaeffer’s distinction between “upper-case” truth and “lower-case” truth. He explains that “feminism” simply means “woman-ism.”
[2]By “the Judeo-Christian position,” I mean gender roles as they ought to be understood according to Scripture. I am in no way saying that the West in particular has always practiced these well.
[3]Space does not permit a fuller description of the works of Austen and Bradstreet; nevertheless, they ought to be mentioned in this conversation.
[4]Kassian and Wolgemuth have written two excellent studies on Biblical womanhood: True Woman 101 and True Woman 201. I have participated in Welch College women’s group studies of these and have been greatly encouraged, challenged, and enlightened through these resources.
July 31, 2019
Congratulations Christa on this most excellent article on such a much needed subject. I agree with you whole heatedly, It is a very well written article and theologically spot on. I appreciate this so much. It needs to be distributed somehow denominational wide! Bravo!
July 31, 2019
Thank you, Bro. Wayne!