Book Review: Christ in the Chaos: How the Gospel Changes Motherhood
by Ana Batts
Nine months of pregnancy, or months (sometime years) walking the road to adoption, can never prepare you for motherhood. Before those bundles of joy are sleeping through the night, there are a thousand people telling you the “best” way to feed, clothe, diaper, and raise your baby. It doesn’t end when babies become toddlers, preschoolers, elementary age, or teenagers. There will always be people watching, making sure that you do things the “right” way. But how do you handle it when you fail to meet other people’s standards? Your own standards? Or most importantly, God’s standards? In her book, Christ in the Chaos (Cruciform Press, 2013), Kimm Crandall shares some of her adventures mothering four children, and how she found grace even through her failures as a mother.
Summary
Crandall first emphasizes the need for a woman to find her true identity in Christ. The dangerous tendency is to use motherhood as the basis for identity, which is reflected in titles such as “soccer mom,” “crunchy mom,” “homeschooling mom,” “busy mom,” or “perfect mom.” No matter how hard she tries to fulfill her “mommy” role, there will be days where she fails. The “crunchy mom” will take her kids to McDonalds, because she needs to grab something easy between errands. The “homeschool mom” will have a day that she can’t take any more grammar lessons. The “perfect mom” will lose her patience with her kids. It is impossible to act out the perfect life. If being a mom is where a woman finds her identity, she will eventually feel defeated. However, if her identity is rooted firmly in the identity that Christ has given her through salvation—the identity of “Christ Follower”—she can be victorious because Christ has already overcome the world. The Christ follower’s power comes not from within one’s self, but flows from God through her.
Another main emphasis of this book is the need for grace in mothering. This emphasis on grace is two-fold. The first part is the mom’s acceptance of grace for herself. It is an acceptance of God’s love, even on the days we feel unlovable. It is grasping the concept that being a good mom doesn’t earn salvation, but that things done in service to our families can be an act of worship to God if they are done as unto the Lord.
The second part of grace in mothering is extending that grace to other mothers. Often moms are quick to receive grace, but quite slow to show that grace to others around them. Crandall writes,
[Mothers] constantly look, evaluate and change things to find the sweet spot that proves [they] are okay. Am I eating healthy enough? Am I diapering the best way? Am I spiritual enough? Did I save enough at the grocery store? Have I chosen the right exercise plan? Am I wearing the right jeans? And it goes on and on [1].
Not only are they imposing those standards on themselves, but they are also measuring other moms around them by the same standards. It can make a woman feel good about herself to give others a list of “mommy laws” to follow, especially if those laws are an area of life in which she succeeds. Nevertheless, as soon as the Christian mom imposes that list of ways to try harder and do better upon others, they lose the opportunity to share God’s grace with those who desperately need it.
The final emphasis of this book is repentance, namely repentance from comparing ourselves to the lost of this world instead of a perfect and righteous Savior. It is not enough to be better than those who don’t know Christ. Holiness should be sought, not because it will make a woman a “good” mother, or because others will praise her for how well-behaved her kids are, but because God our Redeemer is holy, and it is the proper response to the gift of salvation that has been received.
Reflections
While reading this book, I had a nagging theological concern. There was a lot of talk about grace, but not much about the Christian’s response to grace. In fact, if you were to read only the first half of the book, you may be convinced that Crandall is writing a book for mothers on irresistible grace and the sovereignty of God. However, in the second half of her book she goes on to encourage the reader to live in light of the grace that has been received and exhorts the reader to respond to Christ in faith—that only through our willful acceptance of Christ’s work on the cross, can we be saved.
Throughout the chapters of this book, Crandall shares many of her failures as a Christian and as a mother. Her honesty about her shortcomings is a refreshing change in a world where every mother wants to be viewed as having it all together. She does a good job of encouraging women in the trenches of motherhood to avoid the “mommy wars” of comparison. She is calling mothers to look to the perfect Savior to find their identity in Him, and to learn the appropriate way to live life in light of grace.
While she writes from the perspective of a mother, many of the themes of Crandall’s book are applicable to the Christian in all phases of life. Christ in the Chaos is a good resource for those seeking to encourage the mothers around them. I would also recommend this book to the mom who is struggling with feeling like she it not measuring up in her ability as a mother.
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[1] Kimm Crandall, Christ in the Chaos: How the Gospel Changes Motherhood (Adelphi, MD: Cruciform Press, 2013), 99-100.
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About the Author: Ana Batts is a pastor’s wife and the stay-at-home mother of five children. She and her family live in Rose Bud, Arkansas, where they are members of Mount Bethel Free Will Baptist Church. Ana enjoys reading and creating things for her family.
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