Fighting to Feel: The Importance of Prompt Repentance
Through one man, sin entered into the world. And sin has waged war against the human soul ever since (Rom 5:12). The flesh and the powers of the air are viciously seeking to drive an eternal wedge between God and man—and they’re having a great deal of success. We’re surrounded by defeated fathers, mothers, deacons and pastors who have been ravaged by vice. This is a harsh reality of life in this world.
An even greater reality is that God has called us out of this darkness and into His marvelous light (1 Pet. 2:9). While the flesh, the world, and the Devil are calling believers back into sin and darkness, God is continually calling us towards the light by the power of His Spirit. In trying to save us from the pain of sin, God convicts us of our sins in order that we might repent. Repentance is the lifeblood of faith and the key to sanctification. Yet repentance is all too often something we delay.
This essay will focus on why prompt repentance in response to the Spirit’s conviction is a necessity for faith as well as spiritual sensitivity. In particular, we’ll consider a biblical example of guilt, shame, and the refusal to repent.
A Biblical Example: Psalm 32
David Wells takes painstaking measures in his book Losing Our Virtue to show that we are a culture that has moved from traditional (and biblical) “guilt” to “shame”. Wells explains that this shame is not defined in moral terms. Rather, this is the shame of a postmodern world, which is “far more psychological in nature than moral” [1]. Our culture rallies behind the notion that we should simply be ourselves without bearing any sense of shame for our desires and actions. Along these lines Wells writes, “There is, as a result, very little which people are ashamed of should they get caught or be exposed. It is, rather, a shame of being naked within one’s self. It is shame experienced as inner emptiness, deprivation, loss, and disorientation” [2]. Society is largely not an immoral one—it is amoral. But it ought not be so for the people of God.
The ancient King of Israel is no exception. If anyone knows of the destructive, oppressive power of godly shame and guilt associated with unconfessed sin, it is David. Psalm 32 gives tremendous insight into what David experienced in his darkest moments of seemingly hopeless conviction. By examining his reflections, we can learn from his experience and wisdom as revealed by the Spirit.
The Sorrow of Refused Repentance
Second Samuel is likely the narrative that sets the stage for Psalm 32. It tells of the King of Israel who profanes Jehovah’s eternal name for the pleasure of mere flesh and blood. David’s seduction of Bathsheba and blatant murder of her husband Uriah may be familiar, ancient accounts to us, but they’re scandalous enough to make centerfold in our modern tabloids. Wealth and power are not enough for King David; and it is not enough for him to conquer many lands. He needs another man’s wife to satisfy his lust. But David’s momentary pleasure quickly turns into consuming grief.
David gives us a vivid account of this sorrow when he writes, “For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer” (Ps. 32:3-4). Believers must not break God’s law without being broken in spirit; rather, God’s heavy hand should bring about repentance. In the case of David, while he should have responded in repentance, he responds in hardness of heart. Though God offers forgiveness through repentance, but David chooses to remain in the guilt of his sin.
The Gracious Pursuit of God
Scripture reveals that God disciplines those whom He loves (Prov. 3:12; Heb. 12:6). While this is often painful for believers, it is also a demonstration and confirmation of His love for us. When the children of God stray, He draws them back in with the heavy hand of His convicting Spirit. David is under this hand, but willfully refuses to repent. God continues to do David a favor by destroying him physically and emotionally. There is nowhere that David can go where God’s convicting Spirit is not present. While Satan would prefer a king who “does what is right in his own eyes,” David finally repents after a lengthy season of sinful resistance.
This man who has been crushed by the righteous hand of God exclaims, “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit (Ps. 32:1-2).” God pursued and David resisted. God continued His pursue, and David finally repented. God’s heavy hand was unbearable for David, and he refused to harden his heart any longer. David writes, “I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin” (Ps. 32:5) Godly grief produced its intended end—David’s restoration.
The Foolish Delay & The Danger of the “David Game”
Why did David delay? Did David think that God would not forgive him? Did he think that God could not forgive him? Did he think that he needed to bear a certain amount of sorrow and clean himself up before he repented? It may be a combination of all of these, but each reason displays an inaccurate (and even sinful) view of God’s mercy.
David’s prolonged refusal to repent is a dangerous game to play, and is one that Satan uses to his advantage. Godly sorrow is intended to bring about repentance, but godly sorrow can be twisted into satanic guilt [3]. The Evil One is obliged for believers to feel sorrow, and yet not repent. For sorrow is not enough—only repentance restores us back to the Father. Only repentance could restore the joy of David’s salvation (Ps. 51:12).
Moreover, willfully harboring unconfessed sin is dangerous because it separates the believer from daily communion with God. As this separation continues, the conviction (for the believer) continues as well; and herein lays the problem. The Holy Spirit is continually calling us to an action that we are continually refusing to perform. The more we deny the conforming Spirit and yield to the flesh, the world, and the Devil, the less we will be able to walk according to the Spirit at all. Refusing to respond repeatedly can create an inability to respond at all.
One must not presume that he can continually grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:30), and yet retain the ability to repent later. Persistent spiritual conviction without prompt repentance produces an undeniable numbness. To feel this cosmic conviction over and over without correctly responding to it can slowly debilitate one’s ability to even feel the conviction of the Spirit at all. Even John Calvin writes in reference to Hebrews 6:6, “It is a warning very necessary to us by often delaying until tomorrow, we should alienate ourselves more and more from God” [4]. It is through this persistent, refused repentance that some have fallen away (Heb. 6:4-6; 12:15-17). The great C. S. Lewis sums this up well when he writes, “The more often [a man] feels without acting, the less he will be able ever to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel” [5].
Conclusion
Modern Christians are no different than this ancient Israelite king. We play the very same games. The Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, yet we harden our hearts and refuse to repent. John makes a somewhat terrifying statement about habitual sin when he says, “No one who abides in Him keeps on sinning” (1 Jn. 3:6) [6]. John is telling the children of God that true believers will take radical steps to wage war on their sin. This does not mean that perfection is attainable—it simply means that war must be waged. This is a war for holiness, and this war is a journey down the path of continual and prompt repentance.
When a believer refuses to repent, he is showing that he doesn’t believe the promises of God in that moment. (And for some this may prove that they are not children of God at all.) The flesh tells us that we do not need God’s forgiveness. Satan tells us that God will not forgive a hopeless, habitual sinner like us. The Gospel tells us that forgiveness, through repentance, is a gift from God that is a result of the substitutionary work of Christ. The flesh deceives and Satan lies, but the Gospel alone reveals the truth of this scandalous forgiveness. The Christian life must continue where it began—you must repent and believe.
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[1] David F. Wells, Losing Our Virtue: Why the Church Must Recover Its Moral Vision (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1998), 35.
[2] Ibid., 34, 35.
[3] It may seem paradoxical, but the conviction of the Spirit and the condemnation of Satan can feel very similar at times. While these feelings appear to be the same, their intended ends could not be more different. Satan attempts to bring about oppressive feelings of guilt and shame so that the believer will remain in his sin as if there is no hope of forgiveness. The Spirit brings about feelings of guilt, through conviction, in order that the believer might repent, and be restored to communion with God.
[4] John Calvin, Epistle to the Hebrews (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1949), 139.
[5] C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (New York: HarperCollins, 1996), 67.
[6] This may be a sign for some that they are not truly believers, but David’s life is proof that even believers foolishly refuse repentance.
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