Nursing Home Ministry: A Critical Need
Visiting widows with my mother is a vivid memory from childhood. My father and mother did much to help the elderly in our small community, but they especially cared for widows who were either childless or whose children didn’t live locally. For my mother, this ministry often meant preparing a pecan pie and taking me with her on a visit to someone’s home.
I recall these visits well for two reasons. First, I remember trying to entertain myself during adult talk: playing with a pet, finding a treat in a dusty candy bowl, or locating the rare toy tucked away in a nearby room. Second, in retrospect, I realize how counter-cultural these visits were. Most working parents have little time—or are willing to make time—to drag their kids into other people’s homes if it’s not for a play-date (we didn’t call them that in the 1980s). Plus, preparing food for and visiting non-family members are increasingly rare activities.
However, the Gospels’ emphasis on overlooked people or James’ explicit reminder to care for widows and orphans show us that ministering to widows, the disabled, elderly, and generally forgotten people is near to the heart of God. Accordingly, we should conclude that visitation ministries must be the burden of the entire church, not only of a select few.
True faithfulness expresses itself not only in word but also in deed. To talk about visitation is to talk about location, a “where.” To paraphrase Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Christ takes up space in the world.[1] So where does the ministry of visitation take us? Consider an often overlooked ministry site: nursing homes.
There is significant need and opportunity for ministry in assisted-living homes and similar facilities. In this essay, I’ll offer a rationale for this ministry, and in part two I’ll provide some practical ways the local church can minister there.
A Rationale
Pastors visit their members, especially in times of crisis. This may mean entering a troubled home or a hospital room. But in the last century the nursing home has emerged as an especially needy place. Living in facilities of this sort has become incredibly common for Americans, so ministering there is a logical extension of the pastoral task.
My church’s Constitution even includes this ministry in its by-law on the pastor’s responsibilities. It states: “He shall, in so far as possible, visit prospects, the sick, shut-ins, and hospitalized parishioners.” This very succinctly expresses a reasonable expectation. A pastor should seek to visit his people, “in so far as possible.” He goes to sheep in distress, even when their actual lived circumstances aren’t great.
Nursing homes aren’t always happy places. They are sometimes inconveniently located. The facilities can often be unpleasant, depending on their upkeep and staff. Moreover, most residents aren’t very happy about being there. Depending on the person’s health and mental state, they may be difficult to communicate with. Then there is the further challenge of eventually needing to leave, which is hard to do to people starving for attention. Let’s face it: Most church members don’t visit nursing homes because it’s just not fun.
However, none of these reasons are sufficient to prevent us from caring for others in such circumstances. Christian love compels us to serve sacrificially so we focus on what’s right over what’s enjoyable. Through obedience we actually discover the joy of blessing others.
All church members must recognize their obligation to this ministry. The truth is that even if I weren’t a pastor or if nursing home visitation were not part of my written job description, I would still go. This partly due to how I was raised, but it’s also because I have seen too many of the needs and blessings associated with this ministry to ignore it. Though it is quite difficult to cultivate this collective sense of responsibility, church leaders should strive both to model it and to encourage it. Deacons, retired members, and others with gifts of mercy can be quite capable in this ministry if they are encouraged to participate.
Not only is it practically impossible for most pastors to visit everyone frequently and also to fulfill his other obligations, but it’s also not desirable. Every Christian should seek to have a heart for all members, especially those in difficult phases of life.
An Otherworldly Calculation
I have occasionally had some of my members increasingly not remembering that I even came to see them as dementia or something like it sets in. I have to keep reminding myself: They may not remember, but God will. Their family may not have seen me here, but He did.
Remembering these truths can help sustain nursing home ministry. After all, this ministry goes against the grain of many ideas about ministry success and productivity. Though these are often naively measured in terms of bodies, buildings, and budgets, visiting nursing homes simply doesn’t profit in these ways.
There is no quid pro quo. We don’t visit people now so they might visit us one day in the future. Moreover, the “payoff” of such ministry doesn’t conform to any worldly calculation. The church’s offerings aren’t going to increase. Church-hoppers won’t start coming to your church. Other nursing home residents aren’t going to see and rush to your church. Doing this ministry for those reasons is futile. Instead, we must do it out of compassionate obedience.
In part two, we’ll consider some practical ways to get started in this type of ministry.
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[1]Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Discipleship (Minneapolis: Fortress, 2003), 225.
April 16, 2018
It should be in every pastor’s job spec..
April 20, 2018
Bro. Alton, thanks so much for reading.