Nursing Home Ministry: Getting Started
In my previous essay I provided a biblical rationale for the ministry of nursing home visitation. But what may such a ministry look like practically? Ministry is always contextual. Fulfilling this ministry will look different from place to place. However, despite where or who you may be, here are some suggestions for church members and leaders.
Remember the Difficult Conversations People Are Having: Ministry requires teachers to equip people with wisdom to navigate life’s complexities. Many members are beginning to have difficult conversations with their parents (or their children) about the future. Pray for them, encourage them, and instruct them with biblical principles (both the children and their aging parents).
Remind the Church of These Members Often: If your church maintains a prayer list, be sure to list the members in homes, along with their room number. If you’re a pastor, mention them from the pulpit when appropriate. You can use a positive illustration of something an elderly member did in the past. If you maintain a birthday list, have a designated person or ministry group (e.g., WNAC) to send them a card or take them a gift. If you have a member who visits well, encourage him/her to invite new members to go with them to meet the church family who they don’t see on Sundays. Remember: When people are out of sight, they’re usually also out of mind.
Provide People with Resources: Churches should provide resources for their nursing home-bound members, such as a weekly bulletin sent via mail, or hand-delivered by a visitor. If the resident has a CD player, a CD of Sunday’s meeting could be provided. Prayer sheets, a Daily Bread, and other such material stimulate the person’s idle mind. Remember that their souls need feeding, especially when regular worship is no longer part of their week. One thing I try to do, usually once a year, is take the Lord’s Supper to those in nursing homes or those who are homebound. It requires a little planning, but it can be done in a spiritually appropriate way.
Minister to “Your People” and Others: Pastors and members’ first obligation is, I believe, to the household of faith (Gal. 6:10). However, when we visit, we should find ways to bless others as we can. Beyond holding a service, there are many small ways we can do this. Simply looking in the eyes of those sitting in the hallways, smiling, and saying “good afternoon” affirms their humanity. Even if they do not respond in kind, we honor them as image-bearers by this greeting. If you sing, do so in a place where many can hear. Song is such a powerful tool to bless many. Ask the person you’re visiting to introduce you to their roommate. Ask the roommate if there is a special way you can pray for them. If you visit a nursing home resident whose child isn’t saved or churched, contact them occasionally just to let them know you’ve seen their parent and that you are praying for them, too.
Pay Attention to Staff: I hear more complaints about staff from nursing home residents and their families than anything else. No doubt such complaints are sometimes legitimate. Yet the role of the visitor is not to mediate such conflicts except if we do observe gross negligence (you may have a legal obligation to report in those cases). Otherwise, remember that most facilities are understaffed, creating very low worker morale. Some employees aren’t always having a great day, much like their patients. Some may even experience verbal abuse from residents (I have seen this). As a visitor, we can minister by showing kindness and courtesy to nursing home staff.
Most staff members wear name-badges, so call them by their name. Thank them for serving your friend. Try to comply with visitation rules about signing in or washing hands. You help the residents, staff, and your testimony when you do this. I find it helpful to know at least one or two key staff members by their name. This will help in establishing a good working relationship between your church and the home in the future. Believe me: Nursing home staff pays attention to who visits, where they come from, and how often they come.
Get Kids Involved: We should absolutely include children and youth in nursing home ministry. It’s considerate to check with staff ahead of time to make sure this is acceptable. Sometimes kids may not be old enough to avoid wandering off into rooms. But children, especially when they sing, do more to encourage nursing home residents than almost anything else.
I have noticed that many parents seem reluctant to have their children go anywhere or do anything that might be unpleasant. Take a picture the next time you see a child in a funeral home. It’s rare. While parents should use discernment, they must also realize that they impart to their children valuable spiritual lessons by teaching them to be a blessing at an early age. Unless there is a health risk or behavioral concern, take kids! One of our ministry leaders, usually with a second adult, will occasionally take some of our youth to a local nursing home or shut-in member’s home to sing on Wednesday evenings. This is one of our most impactful ministries.
Remember Holidays and Birthdays: A good time to visit people is around a holiday or on their birthdays. Though homes often have activities to try to make these times special, they cannot provide what Christian company can. It may be practical to contact a member’s child to make sure they aren’t taking their parent out. It’s ideal for visits to be spread out during a week and around special occasions since it creates a sense for people that someone is consistently thinking of them.
Consider Conducting a Service: This is perhaps the most context-driven idea. Some churches are smaller yet may be simultaneously located near multiple nursing homes, making it highly unlikely they would be able to provide services for multiple homes. However, such a church may identify the one or two homes they have members in and go to sing a few times a year. Activity coordinators are thrilled to welcome church groups to sing or hold a worship service. Just remember not to overstay your welcome. Stick with familiar songs that residents may know, and forgo overly long sermons.
Thankfully, many churches already do a great deal of ministry in this area. I don’t see the need for our churches to replicate these kinds of ministry if we know of a solid, Bible-based ministry already being conducted by another church. If you minister in a context like I do where dozens of such facilities are within a twenty-mile radius of the church, it simply isn’t realistic to conduct ministries in each.
What is both realistic and necessary is for members to be motivated, resourced, and equipped to know the circumstances of their entire church family and to feel a burden to minister to them where they are. Therefore, regardless of how your church engages in visitation, be intentional, be compassionate, and don’t let people slip between the cracks.
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